Am I on candid ******* camera???

OK. So, living in the city is expensive. Housing (rent, utilities), food, restaurants, transportation (bus and train tickets and gas) is EXPENSIVE. So expensive. It's not like you can walk all over the place to save money, either. So. expensive.
So, I decided to venture out into the job market. I took my bad self and my resumee with 1 error and took it to a local realtor. This experience, like many of my previous employments was ridiculous, to say the least. This man, Mike, was ridiculous. There was only one worker, him, in the entire store. He refused to answer any of my questions and told me he'd figure out what my pay rate and approximate hours per week would be. No prob, I thought. I'll roll with it. No big deal. I just want a job.
First of all, he YELLED at me day in and day out. I only worked two days, but everything I did was WRONG. But, here's the kicker: If I went to ask a question, he would say, "No questions. Every time you ask a question, I lose my concentration and I forget what I was doing. Seriously, I'm earning 50 dollars an hour and if you ask me 20 questions, I lose money."
"But, how am I supposed to know what I'm doing if you don't explain it to me?"---I said.
"I'll let you know."---Mike claimed.
Then, there was the peaches.
He kept staring down my neck....kept going....at my peaches. (some call them melons, but mine are more like peaches). I wasn't wearing anything revealing, either!
Then, he kept touching my hands. I was like, "Whoa man, get out of here. Stop touching my hands," but to no avail.
Then, more of the yelling. "PUT THIS FOLDER OVER THERE. OVER THERE........THERE.....THERE......ON THE PILE."---Mike
What fucking pile, I thought to myself. All there is is random papers thrown EVERYWHERE.
"Where?"--me
"DON'T ASK QUESTIONS. YOU'LL LEARN, EVENTUALLY"----Mike
I took a look at the papers, even though he told me, "Don't look at anything or tell anyone anything," and there were so many bills and unpaid invoices he neglected to pay. Lawyers and collection agencies kept calling and he either: lied or he hung up on them. This is absurd, I thought. Is this a real business?
Of course, I asked, "Is this a real business or am I on candid camera?" and he claimed this place was four businesses rolled into one. And he then proceeded to hand me 12 business cards that claimed he owned and operated all 12 of such business ventures. This is absurd.
The next day, he made me call up three (3) different phone companies and made me wait until they connected me to "someone in the United States." Even though the customer service representatives in the Philippines spoke perfect English, he made me wait for confirmation that I was indeed talking to "someone who spoke the same language and was from New Jersey."
Wow.
He yelled at everyone, everyone. Friends, lawyers, architects, printer cartridge sales attendants and ME.
Then, at the end of the second day, I asked, "Mike, how much money am I going to make?"
Then, he looked down, pondered and said, "I was thinking......Six dollars, under the table, no tax forms."
"Mike, I can't work here any more."---me
"Why not?"---Mike
"One, quite frankly, I'm stressed out."---me
"WHAT? I GOT A BAD EAR....YOU. GOT. TO. SPEAK. UP."---Mike, who has a "bad ear/an addiction to yelling and hearing his own voice."
"I'M STRESSED OUT. STRESSED. I'M STREEEESSSSSSED OUUUUUUUT."---me
"Well, sure, you're not trained yet."---Mike
"I can't work for 6 dollars, I got ends to meet."---me
"Well, I lost all of this time training you. It's a little unfair to me."---Mike
(I wasn't trained, I didn't do anything except write things down, print out an invoice, fax something and yell at Vonage reps.)
"You'll find something, Mike. Someone more suited for this job."---me
Then, he wrote me a check for my 10 1/2 hours work (at six dollars an hour) and then I peaced out of that hood. God, that was awful. So I went from unemployed to employed to confused to ulcer-ridden to angry to unemployed within 48 hours. Nice.

Updates

I moved from Kirksville to Chicago! I'm currently living in sin with my one true love, The Englishman!
It's been such an adjustment moving from farmland to the metropolis.
Let me make you a list of differences I've note:
Kirksville:
small
rural
so much farmland
not urban
field mice, at worst
three coffee places (one with AMAZING chicken salad)
three octogenarian taxi drivers, to make up the public transit
you can't leave your house without running into 20 people you know and whom you feel compelled to chit chat awkwardly with
republicanville, USA
one large wal-mart
friends (granted, most aren't there anymore either)

Chicago
large
urban
so many buildings
not rural, at all
THE LARGEST RATS YOU WILL EVER SEE
three coffee places....on my block alone (one with amazing atmosphere)
no chicken salad
thirty nine methods of transportation, buses, trains (all sorts of colors), taxis, cars, bikes
you can wander the city all day and not see a familiar face
democrat (blue state)
one satellite Target (small)
no friends (yet) :(
exciting