Shame, Shame, Shaaaaame

Any loyal readers of mine ever do the Walk of Shame? If not, you're missing out on one of the time honored traditions in America. I'm sure people do the Walk of Shame in Europe and Africa and Asia and the Americas, but we, as Americans have perfected it. I would even go as far as saying that the Midwesterners have perfected it for the rest of the United States. Here's the theory: Northerners never get caught doing the WoS because it's too cold that no one ever gets caught. For one, everyone (probably) wears North Face and ski gear, so people could be doing the WoS, and no one would notice because the clothing doesn't change. Here, an essential element to the WoS is the clothing. If you are in stilettos, thigh-high tights, black halter top and you mirror a football player with their smudges to keep the sun away (or whatever they do that smudging for).....all on a Sunday morning, you have just been initiated into the Walk of Shame. The point is: your makeup has seen better days and so have you.
Anyway, Northerners are not frequent WoShamers. Too cold.
Southerners: too classy. Or rich.
The coasts: to rich. Plus, I feel like the West Coast is so wealthy, everyone has a personal servant to run around picking them up at all hours of the night. The East Coast, people would probably just catch a cab. Or they would buy new clothes and throw them on. Plus, in busy places, no one would recognize you anyway, so thus, it is not the WoS.
Lastly, I have been the NYC (the only place I've ever been), where there are some SCARY people. These people look like aliens who just caught the stomach flu. Pretty frightening. If they can deal with that sickness, I am sure the WoS wouldn't faze them.
Midwesterners: people know you, you see people, rarely are there cabs, we don't have loads of clothes lying around, perfect conditions for the WoS.
I am a regular participant of the WoS. Even though it is with the Englishman, it is still the WoS when you meet your boyfriend's friends while heading out the door at oh six hundred hours on a Sunday. Why is it you never meet your boyfriend's friends or former lovers when you are in a formal gown? God, karma, Santa Claus (whoever controls things) et al has a funny, funny way of screwing around with our lives.
I love when you cross paths with someone else doing the WoS. Both of you know what's going on, both agree that it is best to give a small nod, then look down whilst walking. It isn't glorious, but it is an unmistakable bond.
The worst is when you are a regular WoShamer and then others, who apparently have a routine too, catch you on a weekly basis. I have bumped into a building mate of the Englishman for weeks now. At first, it was awkward. But then, as the weeks progressed, the mate of the Englishman would say, "Hey....Walk of Shame??"
Me: "You know it."
I am so classy.