First Blog Post Ever

I have never really been a blogger. But, my dream is to write my own memoir, so I better start preparing!
People always ask me what I want to do with my life; what I want to accomplish in the near (but ever present) future. Ya know what I hate? Those questions. I blame the elderly. Yes. The elderly. For one, those are the main sources of those types of questions. Grandparents, old neighbors, cashiers at random grocery stores ALL ask those types of questions. Do you know who are also people with question rabies (rabies as in foaming from the mouth, but with questions)? People who don't give a shit about the answer. That's my biggest pet-peeve. A.D.D. question askers.
Anyway, back to the question: What I want to do with my life / the future. Listen old people. I love you. You are great at story telling, giving advice about some things, you are good listeners....BUT bad question-askers. For the last time grandma, I am still no pregnant. No, grandma, I'm still not getting married. No, I don't think the price of bread is criminal. No, grandma, I don't think that we should give up on Obama quite yet. Let's give him some time.
---Seriously though. Old people and inappropriate question askers need not ask dumb questions. If I was really into telling you about my future, I would have done so. If I knew myself what I was going to do for the rest of my life (the rest of my life until I win the lottery or become the inventor of the chocolate chip cookie blow up machine (sort of like a shrinking machine, the it makes the cookies expand to 1000 times its size-----it's still in the production phase), I would tell you what I would be doing.
Anyway, I've had many goals in my life. The earliest memory of my life goal was to be a ballerinafirefighter. One word. I would dance and then fight fires. A graceful hero. Well, as a twenty something woman of the world (the Midwest world, that is), I I can tell you that I am neither graceful or a hero---but in a good, average, safe sort of way). I used to want to be in business, like work for a company and make lots of money and have a 401K and all that comes with corporate life. But, then I realized that my worst fear realized is: cubicles.
Like that great movie Office Space, I don't want to be chained to a desk. I want to be free. But, I also want to be free from manual labor too. Such a quaint juxtaposition.
So, I thought about it and thought about it. And then I settled on: being a lobbyist. That life goal lasted until I realized that I only wanted to be a lobbyist because I was sorta interested in politics and I was somewhat keen on spending time with my BFF Mrs. President. Mrs. President is one of those girls who will be the best person in the future. I never knew that class / caste systems existed until I met her---but in a good way. She is just my role model. She gets shit done. Being a lobbyist would never fly because I'm not THAT politically motivated (I lean far left, but I am only passionate about said topics until the fire dies out and I get bored), plus I never watch the news, CNN, or anything political. I think I once read a book about Jay Leno, Conan and Colbert and their effect on the political leanings of everyday Americans, but really, that was it.
Then, one day, I said. Ya know what: I want to be a professor. Everyday from late August to early May, I would see 4 or 5 professors teach me some junk that I could have read out of the books they gave me. Yes! Finally, a career for me! I mean, how hard could it be. Go to 4 to 6 years of graduate school for a certain field and then BAM---career made. Plus, I always saw my professors leaving early, not working too hard....But, as I started researching grad schools, and the Secret Lives of Professors, I understood what made those quirky professors tick. Professors work for years and years about one grand subject. It's like Dustin Hoffman's character in Rain Man, except without the over exaggerated stigmatism on disability. These professors work hard. For years they have worked hard---and continue to do so. Who knew?
Well, that career couldn't fly. I get bored. Plus, I need human contact (not human-to-book contact).
So, finally, I decided that I wanted to write a book of humorous stories about my life. But, as a non-published author (not published yet, anyway), I need to get my name out there! The only way to do that is to become a writer. Then, I decided that I want to work (and gain access to healthcare or an HMO). So: the dream is to go to grad school for Journalism and then work on a newspaper. I would love my own column, and then maybe, down the road, I would love to write a memoir about my humorous life (believe me: Boy, have I got some stories, too).