Abroad, broads.

Two of my best friends are coming back, or have already returned from Studying abroad. This led me to thinking....what happens when you are abroad, are studying abroad or just in a different place than the Midwest.
I have only been out of the center of non-civilization once, and that was a school sponsored trip to NYC. We went to NYC, got our hands held the entire time and then came back to the Midwest, where I apparently belong.
Anyway, what happens overseas? I have no idea. Studying, yes. Thank you, sarcastic Sallys and Sals....I know that Studying Abroad means taking classes and studying. Now that we've got that covered, what else happens?
Well, here's what I think happens when you go overseas:
1. Daily body cavity searches.
Especially Americans---tricky bastards. Never know what they are going to have on them.
2. Hazing.
They probably make you go through a hazing ritual whilst you're in said country. Whether it be France, the UK, S. America, China, Africa or Espana....hazing the newcomer is a time-honored tradition. No matter if their culture is similar to ours, or they are third world....they will probably make you memorize lines from their Pledge, Song of their Country, or learn Shakira lyrics (they just love Shakira). (All while pounding a 1/5th of Bourbon, sake, tequila or Vodka (depending which country you are in).
3. It is notorious that other countries eat later than Americans. I am the oldest person alive. If someone makes me eat later than 5:30 p.m., I get grouchy. But in other countries, they eat at like 9 p.m., stay up til 3 a.m. and so forth.
I think the first day you get to the country, they make you fast until you conform to their standards of eating. They withhold all food and beverages (unless it it Bourbon, sake, tequila, or Vodka) until you are willing to eat later and sleep from 3 a.m. until 8 a.m.
4. Clothing.
I am sure they will give you lip about your faded jeans until you are willing to sell them. Apparently, Americans get jeans for cheap. I think Europeans are willing to buy them from you....you are expected to do this.
5. Entertainment.
As a guest to their native land, you bring information from the outside world (aka, The Midwest United States). Sure, the only thing you've taken part in, is a pick-up game of 4-Square, but still, they wanna a story. You are the entertainment.
6. Awful public transit, transportation.
Especially in Mexico, Africa, S. America and I am sure the back roads of Switzerland and France are similar to this, too: Bad. Transit: worse.
To break you in on the first day (and subsequently every week after you arrive), you must go through public transit. i.e. sit on some one's lap for a 9 hour bus ride going 60 miles an hour over pot-hole central.
7. Luxuries.
They revoke all luxuries no matter who and where you are. Doesn't matter that you are studying in Sydney, Paris, London or Rome. Luxuries no more. It's for the experience.
8. Boyfriends/lovers/girlfriends.
No matter who you know. You don't know them any more. Their name is dead to you. This is law. This is SPARTAAAAAAAAAA (or wherever you are studying abroad.)
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Whenever I leave my town (St. Louis) and travel to another place in the United States, I expect to get the same treatment as well. Turns out, no. And the rest is probably incorrect for other countries as well. Who knows. We'll never know.