Judgy much?

Have you ever been the blameless victim of a JA? What is a JA, you ask.....well it is a Judgment Attack. I, Erica Wiley, writer/victim have been judged. This goes along with my previous post about haters.
But, judgy pants is a different form. They judge on the basis that they have never participated in the kind of activities that I do. They think the kind of things I do is socially unacceptable, lower class, trashy or what have you.
dictionary.com claims that to judge is to decide upon critically, to guess about, estimate, or a person qualified to pass critical judgment.
For one, these people/person is not qualified to pass critical judgment.
Secondly, they are clearly only guessing; they are in the wrong.
Thirdly, stop being so critical.
Fourthly, they don't knooooow me. (insert a sassy snap)

What are they judging me on:
1. Food habits. A nameless roommate of mine, who is perfect in every single way, no stone unturned, all I's dotted, all T's crossed, whatever the hell that means, persnickety, always judges me for my food choice. And I don't blame her. It's silly, my food choices. What's funny is, she thinks people judge HER. No way, Jose. Step back in line....the judgy train is full speed ahead....We have a nonstop flight to Judgytown, U.S.A.
Sure, I eat more cookies in a month than most people do in a year. Sure, I like to eat carbohydrates like it's my last day on Earth. Sure, if I am bored, sad, angry, stressed, happy, lonesome, not lonesome, I pound out some munchies. Is that a reason to judge? I don't think so.

Just because you happen to have excellent teeth, bone structure, blue eyes and throw off the metric scale for weight doesn't mean you can criticize me: a brown eyed, brown haired, sloppy, clumsy, Baptist-bred, curvy, over-eater roommate. She's not the only one either. One time, at Wal-mart, I was with a nameless roommate, we were shopping together, which was hilarious. We are funny shoppers. We had a good ol' time, screwing around at the local Wal-mart supercenter.
When we were done making lewd gestures, joking around, causing chaos in every aisle, the best time of my life, we decided to check out. She went first, putting her yogurt, low-cal drinks, cereal, tomatoes, canned vegetables, celery, wheat bread, eggs, cranberry juice, bananas, wheat thins, light mayonnaise and oatmeal on the counter. Then, she grabbed a candy bar. One candy bar. The cashier, making small talk says, "Ahhh, I see someone (my roommate and loyal patron to Wal-Mart) has a sweet tooth."
My nameless roommate, politely smiles and says, "Ha, yeah, I guess so."

Then comes my turn. Here's the rundown of my shopping cart: eggs, orange juice, brown sugar, white granulated sugar, Chips Ahoy Chunky, chocolate chips, walnuts, meat, red meat, extra-fatty pizzas, Reese's miniature peanut butter cups, a loaf of bread, French bread, and three candy bars from the aisle. He then turns to my roommate, gives her a look, turns to another cashier, gives her a frightened, appalled look, then turns back to me and says, "Someone here really has a sweet tooth."
Then, not-as-politely, I shout, "INCORRECT, MY GOOD MAN. I have THE sweet tooth. THE. SWEET. TOOTH."
If this was a Baptist church, in the St. Louis area, on a Sunday afternoon, I wouldn't be getting this kind of treatment. They would take one look at my basket of sweets and ask if I was on a diet.

That's the other thing, being raised Baptist, most of the stereotypes are actually true. Especially in regards to food. If there is more than 1 person at the house, a casserole is in order. Fried chicken is an every day occurrence and if there is a party, there must be a separate table for desserts. In fact, keeping it light, means only having one table of desserts. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
2. Clothing.
This is probably going to be a repeat theme in my awesome blog. Seriously, I don't read Vogue, I don't shop in "Size 3" (A fictional clothing store for thin white girls) and I don't have money to buy, wear once then discard, all of the new trends available.
It took me years (and I mean years) to buy and wear skinny jeans (which are probably going out of style now that squares like me are actually wearing them).
So, listen up: Stop judging me on the basis of my turquoise jewelry, classic, yet not trendy, slightly worn, but ok, sweaters, faded, flared jeans, etc, etc. I am an okay person, I just don't care enough to peruse the internet looking for the new trends abroad.
Don't bring up that the shoes I am wearing are not only out of style, but years old. They still work. They were cute 3 years ago, I think they are ok now. Don't even get me started on Sales. I would prefer not to thrown into the lion's den or buried alive for.....
yes....it's true....
I do this....
thrift shopping.
Yes, other people have worn these clothes. Yes. Strangers.
I bought them for a dollar. Full price: one dollar. And I am not going to Fashion Hell for it. Suck it.