Un-politically Correct Interests

Embarrassing things I shouldn't like. This blog post has its roots in the last blog post and many posts previous to this one.
I really like weird things. Most of them are not politically correct. In fact, PETA and every other Rights Activist Organization would like to see me shot. But, I'm not sorry....I will shout it from the rooftops, if I have to.
1. America's Funniest Home Videos
Yeah. People getting hit the crotch. People getting hit in the head. Kids falling down. I can't get enough of that shit. That is quality home entertainment.
2. Beef Jerky
'Nuff said. I would be the first one to survive in the wilderness because all I would bring is a truckload of beef jerky. Good luck, vegetarians. Good luck trying to sustain life off of romaine lettuce and carrots. I love that salty, hard, smoked, chewy goodness of beef jerky. (Sorry PETA.)
3. COPS. I love the show COPS.
This is definitely related to America's Funniest Home Videos. I like to see criminals run from po-pos and then taken down by said po-pos. Yes, it is awful to see the inhumane treatment of smalltime criminal offenders. Sure, the justice system might not be the best ever created. Sure, there might be some troublesome police officers taking advantage of their authority. Sure, guns kill. Violence sucks. But...on camera. Amazing cinematic greatness.
4. Smelling Permanent Markers.
I am the perfect candidate for a Drug Rehabilitation Program. I have a problem. And I've heard that is the first step in recovery. I love to smell permanent markers. ("Hi, Erica.")
5. Drinking to get Drunk
I mean business when I consume alcohol. I don't pussyfoot around (I hope that isn't a misogynistic term). Every alcohol/drug program I've experienced has told me not to participate in drinking to only get drunk. Apparently, that is a bad sign. They also told me not to participate in drinking games....so, how much do they know?
6. Eating Meat.
This goes along with Option #2 (beef jerky). I love the stuff.
One time, I decided to quit meat and only eat vegetables and occasionally fish. Pescatarian is what I'd like to call it.....
But, then, all I ate was a gaggle of frozen vegetables and fish....FOR EVERY MEAL. Lunch: Peas and halibut. Supper: Green Beans and Grouper. Snack: Broccoli and Fish Sticks.
I just replaced beef and chicken and bacon/breakfast sausage (I'm not a fan of pork or regular sausage) with Fish.
7. Buying Clothes from Wal-Mart.
I love those strong, third world connections that Wal-Mart has. I can buy a t-shirt for 4 dollars. That is amazing...I'll take two (or three). Some activists are all about Target and K-mart as an alternative to Wal-Mart. Personally, I love me some Target, but you can't beat the prices that Wal-Mart has. Why pay more? Those activists are like, "Blah blah blah....what about the small children employed overseas? Don't you think about them?"
Answer, "No I don't. I think about my sweet ass deals I get from the Women's Section at Wal-Mart. But, thanks for asking."
After I leave Wal-Mart, I always feel like I am stealing from them. When I walk out, I always have the shifty eyes and perspiration on the brow. How can it be so cheap??
8. Skipping Class.
I currently hold to record for classes skipped in a semester. It's true; look it up. But, it's unofficial, so when you look it up, you won't find anything. It's more unofficial. I didn't have mono. My family didn't lose a house and I had to go back to work on the family farm to save the house. No, I just like to skip class. Why go and learn when I could read and learn from my couch.
Everyone is always giving me the look when I tell them about my efforts to skip. But, I can't be held responsible for their poor decisions. I skip, because I care.

TO BE CONTINUED