Mountain Men

Back in the olden times (yes, as a history major, we describe it such) there were these people who navigated and explored rural, western America. These people, usually single men, roamed the wilderness (again, as a history major, I feel privileged enough to describe it as 'wilderness') in search of wealth. Most of the time, they were living off the land, battling Indians and trapping fur-covered creatures, probably with their bare hands. These men, mostly young, single, hairy (probably) manly beasts of men were known as Mountain Men. Well, now that 150 years has rolled by, Mountain Men have made their return: to State University, where I attend college.
Now, clearly, I am no prim and proper princess prodding around Podunk, Missouri. But, recently, I have seen an uprising of men who are doppelgangers of Mountain Men.
In the age of vegan/vegetarianism, pro-animal, pro-rights, pro-faux fur, or no fur, pro-hemp, pro-electric, pro-environment, there are these groups of humans cohabitating the earth with these people.
On one side of the spectrum, the vegans/pro-animal/environment hippies *no offense, really, I'm just getting my point across* while on the other side, the Mountain Men.
These Mountain Men, perhaps once a part of the vegans. Maybe they drank too many herbal teas and smoked too much of the "green goddess" that Mother Nature provided. They might have taken their agricultural science class a little too far. Perhaps they spent too much time camping one weekend and ended up relinquishing all responsibilities they had. I can just see it now, average, nuclear families coming up to this small small town wondering what happened to Timmy. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY TIMMY?? The wilderness got him. Yes, he's still going to class. Yes, he's chasing rabbits into the sewers, Timmy's mom. It's best you leave a note. Or, forget his face. The wilderness has got him now. The wilderness changes a man. Or, changes a twenty year old infant child with a bow and arrow.
Whatever the case, these hobos are wild. Wild looking, wild in nature and wild in their actions. Wild. Whoa wild. I've heard urban myths (with several complying sources) about trapping wild animals (except, in towns, animals aren't wild, they are partly domesticated) and then killing and roasting them in the road. In. the. road.
Another thing, they never shower. Never. No grooming. nope. Definitely no shaving. The extent of their facial hair is astonishing. The lengths it will go. Hair on top = half the amount on face. Beardy gentlemen prowling the streets at night looking for townie game to hunt and kill and eat over a slightly urban, slightly illegal fire. They always travel in packs too. They ban together. Or, maybe it's like a cult. A cult gathering of MOUNTAIN MEN.
Anyway, today, I almost was ran over by their "community bicycles" from the late 60s, probably stolen or "borrowed" from another Mountain Men. Because, in the wilderness, the strongest, and in this case, the beardiest, survive.