Boyfs, girlfs, dating

If you have ever been in a relationship, I do not pity you.
I am in a relationship (it's a love thing), but when it comes to social interaction and dating faux pas, I am queen.
For one, I don't know how to obtain a man. I am very silly and I really am the strangest person when it comes to flirting. Bears are probably more gracious and subtle. The problem is patience. I don't have it. Some do. I do not.
No patience here.
Another thing is that when I am in a relationship, I always say or do the wrong thing.
For one, the golden rule of dating and relationships is: Do not mention the M or the P words.
I am here to help everyone learn from my mistakes:
Sure, you love him. Sure, he's probably the best thing that has ever happened to you. But, for god's sake: Don't mention weddings, marriage and babies. Nothing turns a guy off of sex like settling down and popping out screaming infants. No sex fo' you: no babies fo' you.
Seriously. I don't know what it is about people, but some are really into ruining relationships (mostly me). This is the time where you can feel sorry for the Englishman. He puts up with a lot.
Also, have you ever met one of those people who are born to settle down.
Like, one of those people who are really smart, stay in on Friday nights, have already done their taxes for this year (it's mid-January), think teachers are really hot and have purchased baby clothes for their future children....they are born to settle down. At first, I pitied them. But, then I realized that it is so much better than the opposite extreme: Falling for a guy on a broken down Harley, sporting a cash-only job, living off of the streets with an awesome mullet and some homemade "tea."
But seriously: back to social problems. Don't talk about M and P. Also, don't talk about your ex lovers. Unless you still love said person, leave the talk in your head, your diary or your amazing blog at blogspot.com.